My husband and I were reflecting on all the people we have seen come and go in our 2+ decades tenure at the company we have been working for… Obviously we are no longer the shiny new trinkets in terms of personnel but this is not problematic. In fact, we like to daydream about what retirement is going to be like. Of course, that means change. Change is a common stressor that hangs out like the proverbial monkey on the back, even if it is good!

So how many of us put off change so long that the monkey becomes an 800 pound gorilla?

800-pound gorilla” is an American English expression for a person or organization so powerful that it can act without regard to the rights of others or the law.

The phrase is rooted in a riddle joke:

“Where does an 800-pound gorilla sit?” [The answer: “Anywhere it wants to.”]


One of our co-workers always used to compare making choices in life to a game show called “Let’s Make a Deal”. He would often get to thinking about what things were perplexing him at work and try to change those things externally (i.e. the problem was somebody else)… Knowing full well that the changes that needed to be made were internal (i.e. attitude) and that the role of circumstances out of his control was an 800# gorilla (we will name this gorilla “Zonk”) behind one of the doors.

The format of Let’s Make a Deal involves selected members of the studio audience, referred to as “traders,” making deals with the host. In most cases, a trader will be offered something of value and given a choice of whether to keep it or exchange it for a different item. The program’s defining game mechanism is that the other item is hidden from the trader until that choice is made. The trader thus does not know if he or she is getting something of greater value or a prize that is referred to as a “zonk,” an item purposely chosen to be of little or no value to the trader.


So how do we know when what we do or have been given is something of value or another Zonk sitting in the room? Simply ask, “Does it give you fulfillment?” First of all, nobody but the person in the mirror is responsible for that… AND… that person in the mirror is not allowed to make anyone else adopt change.

(((IT MUST BE PERSONAL))) YOUR mind… YOUR heart…

If the answer is NO, change is the only risk/door you should consider;

  • “If you are never scared, embarrassed, or hurt, it means you never take chances.” -Julia Soul
  • If you think you may have made mistakes, you are probably on the right track. That means you’re doing things even though you’re not perfect at them, which is the only way to learn and grow.
  • If you think you may have looked stupid, you are probably on the right track. That means you’re letting yourself be vulnerable, which is the only way to fully experience something new.
  • If you think you may have said the wrong thing, you are probably on the right track. That means you’re talking to people you don’t feel completely comfortable around, which opens you up to new relationships and possibilities.
  • If you think you may have failed, you are probably on the right track. That means you put yourself out there, instead of waiting for the perfect time, which doesn’t actually exist.
  • If you think you may have blown your one opportunity, you are probably wrong.
  • This is what keeps us from taking risks: the fear that we may somehow suffer for trying and doing poorly. Not just that we’ll experience uncomfortable feelings, but that we’ll ruin our only chance.
  • We’ll have countless chances in our lives, if we’re willing to take them. We’ll have limitless possibilities to seize, if we remember all those uncomfortable feelings are worth the possible rewards.
  • Today if you find you feel scared, embarrassed, hurt, or vulnerable, remember: feelings eventually fade, but what you create in spite of them can change your life forever.

Lori Deschene

I’ll be the first to admit I have and had several 800# gorillas sitting in the room of my heart and mind… There have been regrets at not having dealt with them while they were the size of a monkey. Monkeys are more successful when they take their leaps of faith. Gorillas just tend to scream and beat their chests to make a point… Often times hurting other people.


If you know where you are at is non-fulfilling? Leave Zonk behind and


Published by staygoldensunspa

As a Wellness Advocate and NLP Master Practitioner, I am here to help you learn the language of your mind and empower you as a “whole person”; spirit, mind, emotion, and body.

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