I’ve been quiet. Sometimes we all just need space to reflect on things, yeah? To listen to that inner voice in the midst of what seems like the most profound darkness. Grief, stress, depression (insert where yours is coming from here) walk with us all… Sometimes the grattitudes/reflections/prayers just don’t keep us where we want to be… Life can be so hard…
What does one do when options are no longer evident?
A dear friend and I have been learning how to apply the “Laws of Attraction” (I will address this topic in a different blog and have touched on it SOME on “The Welcome Homestead” Facebook page). One of the recent items that came to us (ON THE SAME DAY… IT WAS WILD) is a book titled “Existential Kink” that leads one to “unmask your shadow and embrace your power.” What is astounding is she and I both struggle with appearances, often placing others’ impression of who we are (being what makes them comfortable) above who we’d like to be.
I can’t speak for her but I have often told folks that I keep this “other Kristen” in my back pocket, just in case I need to use her. I don’t find that side of me to be a very nice person and am now wondering if that impression of myself is quite mistaken and that the appearances (being the good girl) are just manipulating mirages that have inhibited me from knowing and attracting those who would have loved me as a whole, had I given myself the chance to be.
If anyone reading this is interested, check out the “Existential Kink” and visit The Welcome Homestead for those insights that I am gaining from certain sections of the book (I will begin no later than Sunday). You are invited to read along (like a virtual book club) and comment your impression of the text being discussed. Because the book appeared in the manner that it did, I am anticipating a challenging read (that means it is going to touch some tender parts) as my subconscious and conscious have a conversation about how we have been living… I pray that we are doing the “next right thing” and find a way to be both (no more partial Kristens hidden in pockets but rather an emergence as a whole from a chrysalis).