When I wake up in the mornings, often times there is a melody playing in my mind. As a person who is intrigued by subconscious expression I quite enjoy these moments of presentation while moving from theta thought patterns into beta consciousness.
Today I woke up to “Dream a Little Dream of Me” as sung by Mama Cass Elliot. Though not the first to sing it, that woman had the voice of an angel… So did my Mom.
This “theta station” music has been quiet this summer while grieving the passing of my mother. These days loss for many seems to be emphasized by fear, anger… blame… primal brain stem activity… There were many stages building up to Mom’s exit of her body. One one hand, she wasn’t afraid of it and on the other she stated one month before she passed that she “wasn’t ready to go anywhere”. She loved this life and those in it SO MUCH! I feel it poignant to write a little about what I loved about life with her before resuming any blogging or video book reads, etc. Even though I miss so many things (like being able to hug & kiss her, hear her voice) I HAVE ACCEPTED HER PASSING but would encourage any of you reading this to take some quiet time and read the article linked to the following image if you are suffering from loss of a loved one… DO NOT COMPARE as there is no wrong way to grieve!!
For example, with my father there was a mixture of anger and depression as we did not have an ideal relationship. It took years for me to accept that we had differences that would never be resolved with his feedback. One of the most significant lessons that I learned from his passing is that “being right does not matter” in the grand scheme of this earthly existence.
With Mom, we all knew (including her) when her mind was beginning to slip. Dementia began to take its’ toll years before her body followed. On one hand, she never denied any one of us our feelings about her condition and at the same time rarely allowed HOW SHE FELT come through. Even the highest caliber of character would have felt many more adverse things than my mother allowed herself to express. She would say from time to time “getting old is not for whimps”. That was it. Let me enlighten you about a few other things I learned from my Mom’s life example:
- She had the compassion of a saint.
- Eternal childlike playfulness.
- Participated in everything she was physically capable of… our socialite!
- Lived without fear.
- Loved without boundaries (hugs were always available).
- Always “turned the other cheek” and followed the example Jesus set.
- She lived by Psalms 118:24… I can still hear her singing it while playing her bass guitar (she started what was called a “guitar mass” at our Catholic church where we grew up).
These things and many more are her legacy. If you knew (and I am not ready to share) what she had been through and to then witness her choose gratitude instead of bitterness… It is my most sincere hope that we all are able to hold on to the good things about our loved ones and honor those memories by allowing LIGHT & LOVE to then flow to so many who are denied it these days.